Do you find this disgusting or freaking or what ?

I am a gay guy of 21 year age .. You know the place where I worked , I fell in love with a guy . And he even knew that . He never accepted what and who I am .. who cares anyways ! So , its over a month now since I left that place and I periodically do talk with him over the phone . But , today I got up early and dad wanted me to drop a cheque in the bank . So , I decided to drop the cheque and also stalk on that guy , since the workplace is near my house . First , I went to first point of view near the office to stalk on him as he walks to the office .. As weird as it sounds , my plan was not to meet him ... just have a glimpse of him and then move to the bank to drop the cheque .. But , I myself got freaked out and left that spot ;P and headed for the bank .. When I came back , it was 9 am . and I thought he must be just to arrive at his office .. So , I chose a peaceful point of view under the shade ... I saw him from a distance , so much so that I only recognised him because of his grey shirt and the ultra fair skin color he has ! MY GOD ! He's such an angel - white and cute !